Highway to hell...

Yesterday's newspaper finally revealed the truth. Almost everyone I know has, at some point of time or the other, wondered why drivers in Dubai are such uncouth, ill tempered maniacs! And now..... I know!!!
The article was written by a british driving school instructor who had moved here recently. Being absolutely appalled by the driving skills of the people in this country, he decided to find out why things were such a big mess. I mean- you get to see the biggest and best possible cars here; right from Mercedes to BMWs, powerful Toyota land-cruisers to sporty Mustangs- everything. Yet drive down the street and you'll see quite a few of them in a mangled-tangled indistinguishable heap, little more than scrap metal.
So the hero of our story enrolled himself into 3 of the biggest driving schools in Dubai. Since he already had a valid driving license and could'nt apply as a fresh student, he enrolled himself into the 'Defensive driving' classes. Now the last I checked, defensive driving meant being extra careful and believing in (which is a true blue fact here) the possibility that everybody around you is a total idiot and that they're all just waiting to smash their cars into you. Unfortunately for our bucky boy, he was in for a real treat.
He was taught the highest speeds at which he could go without being picked up by the speed guns and cameras; he was taught to jump queues, force his way into lanes and pull out when it was'nt safe. Why? Because it would help him get to his destination faster. He was also taught to tail gate to get people in the fast lane to get out of his way if they were'nt going fast enough.
Wow! Now that's what I call an education. So when I drove into work this morning I had an easy, calm outlook to traffic. I felt at peace because now I knew it all. It wasn't the jerk who cut in front of me from the hard shoulder who was to blame. No! He was merely a capable student, doing what he was taught by his able teachers. Infact, it looks like most of the drivers in Dubai are doing their instructors proud. Yep! They're all passing their driving tests with flying colours and speeding all the way down the highway to hell. And you can rest assured that they won't be late.